After a loss, what is your player’s experience?

What does your player receive from you after the game? Is it feedback on how the game went, constructive criticism, or maybe both?

Whatever it is, have you ever stopped to think about what your player receives when they leave the locker room?

Are they greeted by their parents with, “I’m still proud of you,” or “That was a great game”? Or does the feedback and constructive criticism continue? Or, even worse, are they being blamed for the loss?

It may be unfortunate to think about, but for some athletes, that is still their reality.

So, why am I asking this question?

As a coach, I think it is completely normal to provide feedback and constructive criticism. That is part of coaching and helping athletes grow. But parents may not always know when it is best to give feedback and when their child simply needs support.

So the bigger question is: Are your players receiving both?

Are they receiving the feedback they need to improve while also receiving the support they need to process the loss?

And could it be possible that your player is being made to carry the loss of a game on their own, rather than carrying it as part of a team?

Could someone be making them feel that the team lost because of them?

My point isn't to pinpoint or blame anyone specifically. It is to create awareness around whether there is a balance between feedback and support and, more importantly, whether your player actually feels that balance.

There is another side to this, too.

When your team wins, what do your players receive?

Congratulations?

Or are they immediately reminded of what they didn't do correctly?

Maybe the question isn't simply, “How do we respond after a loss?”

Maybe it's:

“What experience are we creating for our players after both a loss and a win?”