“Routines and rituals create stability. Stability builds confidence. Confidence leads to belonging.”

By Walter Aguilar Mindset & Transition Coach

Moving into dorms at a hockey academy or living with a billet family for the first time can be exciting and stressful. You are starting a new routine, a new team, and an entirely unfamiliar environment. Feeling pressure to fit in at first is normal. The reality is that fitting in is only the first step. You will eventually go from trying to fit in to truly belonging if you are consistent in your actions and have a planned mindset.

Belonging is not about pretending to be someone you are not. It's about being accepted and valued for who you are while contributing to your new team and community.

Why It is Important to Fit in First

Your brain searches for acceptance and safety when you first arrive in a new setting. Naturally, you will want to observe, adjust to, and follow the group norms. It is not a bad thing. This element is a key part of the process. Consider it a pre-game warm-up. It is not the whole strategy, but it gets you going.

The first step in learning the ropes, understanding the culture, and beginning to build relationships is fitting in. But if you only do what others want, you risk losing yourself. The goal is to develop a sense of true belonging in which you are grounded, confident, and showing up as yourself rather than just fitting in with others at the expense of who you truly are.

Rituals and Routines That Help Develop a Sense of Belonging

The following are useful strategies for transitioning from fitting in to belonging:

1. Morning and Evening Rituals

Start and end your day on purpose.

To ground yourself, start with a quick body awareness or mindfulness meditation.

Set affirmation goals for the day, such as “I am confident. I am curious. I am polite.”

Write in your journal at night about your experiences, lessons learned, and people you interacted with.

2. Daily Social Routines

Belonging starts with small, consistent actions.

Say hello, engage in conversation, and be truly interested in other people.

Every day, aim to connect with at least one new person.

Look for a "guide," someone who knows what is happening and can assist you in figuring out your way.

3. Exploring of the Campus

Don't isolate yourself in your room.

Take a daily stroll around the campus or community to familiarize yourself with your new surroundings.

Look for public areas where you can meet people easily, such as cafes or lounges.

4. The Success Posse

Having others like you makes you feel more a part of the group.

Build a trusted circle of 3–5 people you can count on.

We Succeed with Support

Transitioning to a new billet family or hockey academy is one of the greatest challenges a young player faces, but you do not have to do it alone.

If you would like support, tools, and coaching to help you not only fit in but truly belong, contact me today. Together, we will build a personal game plan that makes your transition smoother, strengthens your confidence, and helps you unlock your full potential both on and off the ice.