This season has been a little different for me. My son was named captain of his hockey team, and while I’m on the coaching staff, I’m not there as often because of my other teams. It’s been a learning experience for both of us.

It’s a unique situation: being a parent who coaches, but not the coach who’s always present. I’ve had to learn to step back, trust the staff, and let my son find his own way as a leader. It hasn’t always been easy because he is my son, after all, and part of me wants to guide every decision. But I’ve realized that true growth comes when he’s allowed to lead independently and navigate situations on his own.

What I’ve learned is that leadership isn’t taught in a single moment; it’s shaped through everyday actions—how you treat teammates, respond to challenges, and carry yourself when things don’t go your way. Leadership is seen in the small moments by encouraging a teammate after a mistake, keeping composure during a tough game, or taking responsibility when things go wrong. Those are the lessons that stick.

As a dad, I’m proud. 

As a coach, I’m reminded that sometimes the best lesson we can give our kids is to let them lead without holding their hand, but staying close enough to support them when needed. Watching him navigate this role has been a lesson for me too, but sometimes the most important thing I can do is step back, observe, and quietly cheer him on.

Leadership is messy, challenging, and deeply rewarding—both on the ice and off. In the end, letting our kids lead while being a supportive presence is one of the most powerful ways we help them grow into the people, and the leader, they’re meant to be.