As coaches, we need to keep learning and growing too.

When I first got into coaching, I wanted to stay away from the "winning" culture that seems to dominate youth sports.
Win at all costs.
Win at the expense of development.
Win now and worry about everything else later.

I still don't believe in that.

But over the years, I've changed my thinking a little.

I've realized that winning and losing are both part of development.

I also understand that winning is fun. Players want to win. Coaches want to win. Parents want to see their kids win.

Losing, on the other hand, can be mentally draining. It can be frustrating and disappointing, especially when you've put a lot of time and effort into something.

But that's exactly why players need to experience it.

Players need to learn how to lose.
How do you handle frustration?
How do you respond when things don't go your way?
Can you put the loss behind you and get back to work?

They also need to learn how to win.
How do you handle success?
Do you stay hungry?
Do you stay humble?
Can you understand what actually led to the win?

There are lessons in both.

I don't think the answer is to take winning out of youth hockey.
And I definitely don't think the answer is to make winning the only thing that matters.

It's about finding the balance.

Develop the player. Teach them how to compete. Give them the opportunity to win. And when they lose, help them learn from it.

That's development too.

And as coaches, we should be willing to learn those lessons right alongside our players.