A rising tide floats all boats. Write that down.
Every hockey coach between St. John’s and Kalamazoo puts players on the ice they trust to perform when the moment counts. The problem with those moments for agents, fans, parents, media, etc. is the context that lead to that moment, or more accurately, the lack thereof. It’s perplexing to watch coaches in the NHL plant withering veterans in key situations when a fresh-faced newcomer made viral by a toe drag on YouTube one time is ready to sprout, yet sits on the bench as a puck is fired five feet wide of the net.
But if the agent, disgruntled with their client’s lack of ice time, is agitated, you can bet your boots the coach is feeling the pressure too. The coach put the player in that position to succeed, not to fail. Why? Because when the player succeeds, the team succeeds. When the team succeeds, the coach succeeds.
We are on the same team here, people.
Parents and fans don’t see the YouTube sensation in practice or in meetings. Are they showing up on time? Are they absorbing information? If the coach feeds them more responsibility than they can handle, will that help or hinder their development? Raw skill is the engine that drives our game, there’s no question, but it’s not as simple as that when two points are on the line and sold out crowd is screaming shoooooooooot.
It’s the coach’s job to take a portion of that stress off the player’s back. Not all of it (that’s impossible), but the coach is there to help, even when things don’t go perfectly. Especially when things don’t go perfectly.
It takes time, but it’s crucial we don’t place all the blame on the players for their mistakes at any point in their career. Failure is an important step in a young hockey player’s development, and coaches who are willing to deal with those failures and spend time navigating those challenges are often rewarded with a blooming star sooner rather than later.
It’s in addressing these failures and mistakes that coaches and players stand shoulder to shoulder, skating in the same direction. When the player knows you’re on their side, they’re more likely to internalize the message and make improvements quicker. It’s not easy – we all want to smash our sticks on the boards from time to time, but ask yourself: will that reaction help the player get better? If the answer is yes, then sure, toss your twig into the third row.
But I don’t ever think the answer is yes.
You’re on the same side as your players. Here are a few elements that are always within the control of both players and coach.
Listening Ability
Obvious for the players, not always obvious for the coaches. Few things help build trust with a player more than just listening to them. Active listening, not just performative. The player knows. Now, this doesn’t mean you need to take action immediately based on what they say, otherwise you’ll tangle yourself into a lot of power play promises that you won’t be able to untie. You can listen, and you can disagree, but if you’re honest then you’ll build respect and you’ll be able to sleep at night because you won’t need to remember anything. Sometimes coaches default to blaming players for a lack of execution or production, and that’s fair, to a point. But you don’t control the player, you control yourself and your message. They control whether or not they listen, so maybe there’s an approach you can take that ignores blame and seeks a solution instead. Maybe there’s something you can do or say that will help the situation instead of giving up. It’s easier to find those solutions if we ask questions.
Preparation
A hockey player who fails to prepare, prepares to fail. Just like listening, the rule applies to coaches as well. For me, nothing is more important than planning practice. These days I’m practicing Monday to Thursday, and playing games on the weekend, and despite all that time I still feel like I’m struggling to find extra minutes to work on everything. I like practice to be concise, efficient, and more than anything, up-tempo and fun. This means we do a lot of small area games that mimic systems or game situations. The players love it and they’re learning on the job. As long as I’m demanding players are on time and wearing the right colours, then it’s up to me to live up to my end of the bargain and make their time on the ice fulfilling and worthwhile. Our preparation looks different, but both coach and player is controlling their controllable. Again, it’s easy to sleep at night when you’ve put everything you’ve got into the day.
Attitude
There are times when the peaks and valleys of a hockey season will take their toll. It’s usually obvious when an individual is struggling with their energy and their effort as long as their normal demeanour is generally positive or upbeat. We’ve all seen players stroll in looking like Edward Scissorhands from time to time. It’s important during those times that the player doesn’t detract from the group by spreading negative energy. One of my two team rules is no energy vampires (the other is be on time). People can be quiet or low energy from time to time, and that’s fine. If you come down too hard on those off days then I got news for you, you’re just kicking the can down the road.
Words Work When Energy Sputters
I consider myself to be a passionate coach. I’m upbeat at practice, I celebrate when the goalie makes a huge save, and I don’t hesitate when it’s time to get in a player’s face and deliver a message (earlier this week I got fairly animated when a player called for a pass with their stick in the air – slow and low, stick on the ice!) I can’t help it, I love being on the ice and hooting and hollering for an hour every day. Bringing this energy on a consistent basis is my job, but I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t take a toll. There are days where I’m aggravated or grumpy because I simply don’t have the energy to conjure passion or energy. The light bulb usually flicks on when I least realize it – suddenly I’m Edward Scissorhands. But I believe the obstacle is the way, and during those days where I just don’t have it, hopefully I’ve done a good job empowering the group to fill the void and bring the positive vibes we need. It’s in these moments I can control my attitude by recognizing the fact it takes everyone in the room, coaches, trainers, and players, to get the most out of the day.
I remember one such moment prior to a video session two years ago. The room is chaos, I’m exhausted, the guys are milling about, not focussed whatsoever, when suddenly a large 20 year-old named Garrett Szeremley stands up on a table and demands the attention of the group. His major issue? That someone had spilled Gatorade on the table and failed to clean it up. The team snapped to attention and we got through the video, and now I’ve told that story 25 times.
Hockey is a team sport. Our approach off the ice directly impacts our performance on the ice or on the bench. A supportive team that listens to each other and solves problems like spilled Gatorade inevitably spills onto the ice. These types of people play for each other – they work to position, they get open for teammates, they drive the middle of the ice, they backcheck. These are the teams that coaches want to coach, and these are the teams players want to join, even though it’s a lot of hard work to build that identity. That’s why you’re the coach – to demonstrate why that style wins games and why it’s valuable to the individual players.
If you can do that, then you’ll naturally be on the same side as the players. A rising tide floats all boats.
