All you can do is set the table for your releases, be direct, and be honest.
“Ok, it’s time for the easiest part of any coach’s job. The cuts.”
Classic Homer Simpson. But what was a hilariously simplified process in the mid-90s for a fictional parent football coach, is anything but a fifth of the way into the 21st century. These days coaches agonize over releasing kids for a variety of reasons.
Their parents will hate you.
The athlete will hate you.
It might be a huge mistake.
Yep. All those things could come true, but it’s still your responsibility to make a decision and then deliver that decision with grace and tact.
Because no matter how difficult you find the process, remember when you were sitting on the other side of the table?
Yeah. So suck it up.
An Ideal Schedule
Players and parents should know what their timeline is. Parents are doing their best to support their children throughout tryouts, and you owe it to the kids, the organization, and yourself to help in any way you can.
So break it down for everyone. Here’s a weekly schedule to keep it simple:
- Monday: working group practice
- Tuesday: working group parent and player meeting
- Wednesday: working group practice
- Thursday: off day
- Friday: exhibition game
- Saturday: exhibition game
- Sunday: working group practice followed by releases
I understand that you’re at the whim or you organization’s ice schedule, but getting your group together will go a long way toward bringing the best out of all your players during tryouts, which will make your decisions either easier (a good thing) or harder (also a good thing).
A quick note on the working group meetings: I believe it’s a good decision to bring your group in before making final releases. It gives everybody a chance to meet you, and if you’re going to be making releases, the least you can do is meet face to face with the people you’re about to disappoint.
It’s all part of the glamorous world of a minor hockey coach!
How’s It Gonna Go Down, Coach?
Alright, now that the parents have been briefed on the situation, how are the actual releases going to happen? We had a rule at the North Shore Winter Club that was smart: you could only release players after a practice or game at home.
So get organized. When players step off the ice they should know what’s going to happen.
Logistically, the first step is to get all the players lined up or gathered in one spot. A dressing room works if you have it. Then I’d meet with the entire group and tell them exactly what I’d say if they were released or if they were sticking around. I’d literally say “I’m going to say one of two things; we’re going to release you, which means you did not make the team, or you’re coming through to the next round, which means you’re coming through to the next round.”
Why? Because when I was making releases in my first year in Vancouver, I released a 9 year-old first year atom player in a meeting with his Dad. I told him he was being released, and then went on for far too long about his strengths and things he could work on.
After all that, I asked if he had any questions.
“Yeah,” he said. “So did I make the team?”
His Dad sighed and shook his head, and I repeated “No. No you did not.”
The Dad and player were fine with it, but it’s a good reminder to be as clear as possible. Don’t waste your words, because once you deliver the news, the player isn’t listening.
What Does the Coach Control
I’ve had players smile and shake my hand after being released. I’ve been sworn at and told to go f$%# myself. I’ve had a player break down (his Dad was diagnosed with cancer a week prior); I knew the situation, but that didn’t change my responsibility, the only thing I could do was bring this player in last so we could take as much time as we needed.
The reality is you can’t control how a player is going to feel. All you can do is set the table for your releases, be direct, and be honest.
And be quick about it.
