The role of a coach is not who you are, it is what you do.
“A coach will impact more people in one year, than an average person will impact their whole life” – Billy Graham
Being a coach can be an amazing and meaningful experience. It provides an opportunity to experience many different life situations, positively influence young players and those around you. You create game plans that when executed well, can bring much satisfaction as the team continues to grow and win games. It is a fantastic feeling when the team gels and makes the shift from me, to we, to us.
However, when things don’t go well, and the losses start to pile up, it can become very stressful. When others begin to question your leadership or if you have lost the locker room, you may experience anger, depression, frustration or feel overwhelmed. You may find the stress negatively affecting your physical or mental well-being. This can become a very lonely and challenging time for you.
Even more, being let go or fired as a coach, can be a humiliating and discouraging experience. It can happen quickly or be a long-drawn-out process. Either way, it certainly can play havoc on a coach’s self-esteem and self-worth. However, when the mind/energy connection to performance can be understood, it could be a great opportunity for reflection and adaptation.
The role of a coach is not who you are, it is what you do.
Performance can be understood with this equation – PERFORMANCE equal POTENTIAL minus INTERFERENCE. Your being able to make conscious, in-the-moment decisions in the now that serve you and your players will increase your effectiveness as a coach. Often, this is described as being in the zone and in the state of flow. Your ability to access your knowledge, skills, and talents, along with your connection to creativity and intuition, is the key. Being 100% in the now and having all your energy focused on the present moment will provide you with a high level of awareness, confidence, and engagement in your role as a coach. Interference is the stress reaction that we experience. This creates horizontal thinking (past or future thinking). These areas of energy influence & stress reactions come from the spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, social, and environment. Energy goes where focus goes. That is why when you are experiencing stress reactions during a change in your life, it can be difficult to show up as your highest and best self.
“You will face many defeats in your life, but never allow yourself to be defeated” – Maya Angelou
Learning self-awareness, acceptance, conscious choice-making, and ultimately trusting the process, is the key to surviving the ups and downs of a being a coach.
Four ways to effectively deal with change as a coach are as follows:
- Awareness – Notice how you are feeling emotionally, currently what is consuming your energy? Does it energize you or drain you? Notice what you are thinking about, are the stories you are telling yourself true? Are they making you angry, sad, depressed, and perhaps even relieved? What beliefs are you striving to honour? Do those beliefs still serve you?
- Acceptance – Radical acceptance is needed to be able to move forward. Accept where you are in your life and who you have been choosing to be. Understand that acceptance is not complacency, it is just understanding that what was and is happening, is perfectly OK. There is a lesson for you to learn about yourself and others. Everything does happen for a reason.
- Conscious Choices – Many believe we are making conscious decisions in the moment however, that is an illusion. At any given moment, 95% of our decision-making process is based on our subconscious and only 5% on our conscious minds. Our subconscious minds store many of our high-intensity memories in the form of feelings. That is why we often cycle through the process of “feel, think, act” (react) as we decide what to do in the moment. Perhaps, if we could learn to “feel, think, ask” then we would be able to more effectively make conscious choices that serve us. The quality of our questions we ask ourselves can lead to some great responses. It can allow us to effectively respond instead of just reacting.
- Trusting the Process – The only constant in life is change. The process is that of learning and growth. We can begin to change the way we are being in our lives, with awareness and understanding, there is a transition process that can be an incredible opportunity for growth. Although, at times we may feel like we are taking one step forward and two steps back. The coaching experience is an opportunity for us to continue to grow and become the best and highest version of who we can be.
