Teach young girls how to use their unique characteristics to become the best versions of themselves, on and off the ice.

The characteristics of a “Hockey Coach” reach as far back as the history of hockey itself. There was once a certain mentality, temperament and persona associated with a “hockey coach” that arguably had a negative impact on our youth.

History shows it was the norm for coaches (and parents) to yell at players to enforce teaching strategies. “SKATE HARDER!”  “WORK HARDER!”  “PLAY TO WIN!”  Coaches may have kicked garbage cans in the dressing room, screamed negativity, and demanded misguided respect from our youth. Many players would leave the rink feeling ashamed of their game. 

Only in more recent years have players, parents and media brought attention to the sometimes negative impact of coaches’ behaviour on our youth.   

Coaching today is becoming much more in tune with player relationships and promoting positive team environments. Coaches have realized that getting to know their players as individuals and treating them with respect and integrity is more impactful to player development and team success. 

This is a wonderful and welcomed change. 

But what about the differences between coaching boys and girls? 

Many coaches do not consider the differences between coaching boys and girls or the individual challenge of each. Coaches must be in tune to the mental and physical characteristics that each group represents. Coaching females, particularly in their formative years, can be a tangled web to master. 

As girls enter puberty, they often experience emotions they haven’t felt before. They can feel confused, scared, or angry and not know why. Girls can become highly sensitive and become more easily upset than usual. They also experience physical changes that can impact their game. Many girls need extra support from trusted adults as they become more comfortable with their bodies and themselves.

One of the biggest factors to consider is self-confidence. It has been noted in adolescent girls between the ages of 8 and 14 that confidence levels fall by 30% and 1 in 3 girls quit playing sports by the time they reach their late teens. Girls often feel “judged” when playing sports and feel that people will make remarks if they’re not good enough. Learning to be resilient and tackling issues around sport participation becomes vital to player success. Having a strong support system, including coach mentors, can be crucial to these young players. 

Building Relationships

So, as coaches, how can we ensure we continually build up our players and keep them playing the sport they love?

The most simple and effective strategy is building relationships with your players on and off the ice. 

Find a way to connect with each player every single time they come to the rink. This can be as simple as greeting them individually as they enter the rink.  Ask about their day, joke with them, just connect each time they are with you. As adults, we all need to feel heard and respected; the same goes for children and youth. By developing that rapport with your players they will feel part of the team. This in turn makes them feel safe and respected. 

We all make mistakes; it’s human nature. But having players that understand it’s okay to make mistakes, encourages a growth mindset, which will inevitably motivate them to work harder and develop quicker.

Coaching Boys vs. Coaching Girls

When you compare boys to girls there are both obvious and subtle differences. To be an effective coach, you must first pinpoint these differences then identify how to make those differences work to the athlete’s advantage. This will not only benefit the player, but also the team as a whole. 

For example, when boys make a mistake they often show a quick burst of frustration and feel ready to go by their next shift. Boys usually move past their mistakes and bounce back quicker. In contrast, girls have a tendency to internalize their mistakes and can often shut down more quickly and for longer periods of time. By understanding who your players are, it is easier to navigate that delicate line of knowing when to interject and when to give them space before having a conversation with them. 

Power of Self-Talk

An important strategy to use is to teach your players the power of self-talk. Before games, I will often go around the room and ask players to say one thing they plan to focus on for that game, whether it be pressuring the puck, skating hard, getting shots on net, etc. Not only does this teach them the concept of visualization, but it also reinforces the idea that each player is an important and valuable team member and they have an important role on the team.

Just naming that one skill that they will focus on enables them to feel a sense of confidence going into the game. It also gives players a sense of control. In hockey, there are many elements out of the player’s control: referees, opponents, spectators, and also elements within their control: how they play their game. Coaches benefit from reminding their players the importance of focusing on what they can control and how to appropriately respond to the rest. 

Team Comradery

Another strategy to boost confidence in your female athletes is using team comradery. Not only do your players want to do well for you, but they also want to do well for their teammates. Using an exercise, such as “Tell Me Something Good” allows players to reflect on their teammates and feel confident in how they fit in. Every player has a role to play and hearing their strengths from a teammate can give players a different feeling of accomplishment.

For this exercise, give each player a piece of paper with a square for each of their teammates. In each square, the players write something positive such as, “You have an amazing shot!” “Great job controlling the rebounds!” “I love when you keep us focused on the bench!” Then the coach takes all the squares and compiles them onto a larger board. This allows every player to hear positive comments from each of their teammates and have something to remind them moving forward. This can be a particularly effective strategy as your team is heading into playoffs or needing to get out of a slump as it can become part of the voice inside their head cheering them on. 

Example of “Tell Me Something Good”

Both boys and girls alike, crave the social aspect of the game. This can be a huge advantage to alleviating player stresses and anxieties. Coaches must honour the importance of team play; we win as a team and we lose as a team. For girls in particular, this can keep confidence levels on par by not allowing players to take sole responsibility for losses or misplayed shifts. Having that team dynamic repeatedly engrained is important from the start of training camp right through to playoffs. 

Criticism Sandwich

Finally, using a criticism sandwich is a perfect way to acknowledge hard work. It also gives simple reminders on how to improve next time. Girls need the constant affirmation that they’re doing the right thing again and again. As mentioned earlier, they also tend to be harder on themselves so this needs to be considered when giving feedback. In general, coaches often point out the mistakes that players are already criticizing themselves for. So instead of just pointing out the mistake, use a criticism sandwich to remind your players they still have plenty to offer to the team and making small adjustments could improve the outcome for next time. Always start with a positive comment, “I love how hard you were forechecking today” then add something to improve upon, “next time, remember to use your stick to angle your opponent as well” and finish with another positive comment, “great hustle out there, keep working hard!”

Identifying the physical and emotional differences between girls and boys is not a means to point out weaknesses. It is an opportunity to harness the power of these differences and teach young girls how to use their unique characteristics to become the best versions of themselves.