Coaches should make every effort possible to make cuts as painless as possible, while offering hope to every player so they are encouraged to keep playing hockey.

Every hockey season, I get the same text from friends in the hockey community. “We just got cut from X team after they told us we had a spot,” or something similar in which a player and family is blindsided to not make a team.

Or worse, a player doesn’t make a team they ultimately seemed like a shoe-in for, and left off the roster with no explanation, headed home confused.

These days, for better or worse, teams are generally decided well in advance of tryouts, and tryouts serve mostly as a formality, or a way to decide on the remaining two or three spots a coach has and wants to see who shows up.

Yet, with all of this pre-planning, there are still tears from players and shock from parents when they are cut at the last minute and now don’t know where they are going to play.

As coaches, we have a responsibility to soften the blow. Getting cut sucks no matter what, true, but there’s a productive way to do it that will leave players not making your team in a better place moving forward. Here are seven tips for cutting players the right way.

1. Be honest

Are you not sure a player is going to make your team? Tell them this. Coaches often string players along that they aren’t sure they want, but are scared they could be the only option. But being upfront allows these families to decide if they want to come to your tryout or maybe go check out another club they think they have a better shot of making. Lying gets you nothing but a bad reputation.

2. Give feedback

If you’re not taking someone, or are on the fence like above, honesty goes a long way, but so does constructive feedback. Are they not strong on the puck? Let them know this is something you’re noticing so they have the chance to show you they are, or if they do decide to go elsewhere, they know what to be aware of. We shouldn’t be holding kids back regardless of where they decide to play.

3. Meet with cut families after tryouts

Tryouts are chaotic, but families are left wondering what happened and it’s not fair to send them home confused. Make yourself available right away to have those uncomfortable conversations. This will show that not only were you paying attention to their player, but you’re also open to helping make them better.

4. Don’t oversell your team over another

In our club, AA is the top team in our age divisions, and everyone thinks you need to make AA or A to be considered good. Selling a B or BB team is looked down upon. However, every player can be good, but it’s all relative. Making a B, BB, A or AA team is an accomplishment players should be proud of. Playing a lower diviosn only says where you are as a player right then, and nothing about who you will be. In fact, playing at the appropriate level for where you are will ultimately make you better down the road.

5. If you tell them they have a spot, they have a spot

I get it, you have told a family they are safe with you, and then at tryouts, a young superstar walks through the doors you never expected and now you want to make room for them. Now you’re going back on your word, and you’re lying to what could be a very loyal family for something new and flashy. If you’ve told someone they have a spot, stay true to your word.

6. Don’t over promise

To solve the issue above, stop overpromising families things you may not be able to deliver on. If you’re open to taking someone new if they walk in the door, the parents you’ve spoken to should know this is a possibility and you will be making final decisions at tryouts.

7. Exude positivity

Getting cut can be a really bad day for these players. For some, it could feel like the worst day of their lives. If you’ve done a good job not overselling your team, you can show how these trials and bumps in the road are for the better. Now the player has an opportunity to develop on a different team that will allow them to be a leader, or to further develop their skills. If you act like they should be sad, they will be sad. Lead them with positivity.

In the end, no matter the age, cutting a player is not fun. We all know what this game means to each player and even those destined for B dream of making AA, and no amount of mental preparation can really take that sting away. But we can do a lot to help players through it, and as coaches, we should make every effort we can to make this process as painless as possible and offer hope to every player so they are encouraged to keep going.